The Myth of People Pleasing

People pleasing is a cultural imprint. Many of us became people pleasers for many different reasons. It might have been out of fear, or safety or to find connection, just to name a few.

We each did it for our own reasons and for what we believed was what we needed to do at the time. The myth is starting to break open as we are starting to become aware of new perspectives. And for this I’m extremely grateful.

As a recovering people pleaser, I can attest that I bent over to please others at my own expense. I felt like my safety, my fears were best allayed by making others happy. And that became an addiction for me. I didn’t know any better and it became a routine, a habit, a belief, a part of me that I accepted. I didn’t realized how inauthentic I was being. I clearly was being someone else in the people pleasing role. I was being who I thought others wanted me to be. And, truly, this brought more anxiety to me than not taking on the responsibility of other people’s happiness.

With people pleasing you give away your power and you choose to be and do things for someone else that are often not in alignment with who you are. They then hold your power, the power you have given away to them. This inauthenticity can lead to a lot of turbulence and issues in the body leading to dis-ease.

If you find yourself relating to this and are waking up to how you have agreed to this role, don’t judge yourself. There is no right or wrong. And it was what you needed at the time.

Know that at any time, you can choose differently. Choice is always yours.

You may find yourself at this time unable to continue to play this role and you may experience some resistance from others who have been the recipients of your ‘people pleasing’ behaviour. They too will change and adapt with your new choices. And they have their own choices in how they handle the interaction that now is different in your relationship. It's not up to you to make others happy.

It's time to really consider your relationships that are asking you to be inauthentic.

Why is it that you feel you have to compromise yourself? Why are you pretending to be someone you are not?

A healthy relationship, work, friend, partner or romantic is one where each person is accepted for who they are and free to be and express themselves freely.

You do not have to compromise yourself. You have unique talents to bring and not being allowed to be who you are is so restrictive. Many times, the people we are with don’t even realize that they are taking advantage of our people pleasing. In truth though, they likely are reinforcing it (albeit unconsciously perhaps) for their own bene>t. That’s not fair play.

Take back your power.

Shine your light. You are you! And Be you!

Break the myth of the people pleaser because that’s exactly what it is! A myth!

Be the Change.