Addicted to thinking

What are you thinking? Are you aware of what you are thinking? What is your relationship to your thoughts?

I had a belief that I always needed to be thinking something. It went hand in hand with the belief that I always needed to be doing something. This was to try to fulfill a sense of worthiness. 

After years of always studying in the quest for knowledge, I became addicted to thinking. I didn’t really know what it was to not think, to have a quiet mind. I thought having a busy mind was good. When it was presented as mental chaos I thought that was so appropriately named and reflected how I felt - in chaos created from my thoughts.

I have now learned and used many techniques to quiet the mind, but it all started with being aware of my thoughts and dispelled the belief that I have to think all the time. I still have mental chaos at times and it takes practice as we were never taught the beauty and benefits of a quiet mind. 

Even when you ‘think’ you have quieted your mind, thoughts of people, places and things have a way of finding their way in.  

I was meditating one day when I realized that when someone popped into my head, I’d invite them in - unconsciously of course. I noticed myself seeking out a memory about them or wondering about them. This was distracting me from my practice and my quiet mind wasn’t quiet anymore. That addiction to thinking was there again. Tricky!

Being conscious about my thoughts I had a different experience. Now that I was aware of what was happening, I decided that those thoughts were not going to distract me anymore.  When I noticed something or someone pop into my thoughts, I chose to stay in meditation rather than drift away and be distracted. I told myself that this was my time to honour myself and to connect with me. I trusted that if something was important it would present itself later. The difference was that I was conscious.

So much of our thought process is unconscious and runs us instead of us running them.  This can make us very tired and worn out with unnecessary thinking.

That addiction to thinking kept me living in the past or in the future depending on my unconscious thoughts. I was missing the moment. I was not present.  

You might be sitting outside and thinking that you are relaxing and enjoying nature, but if in the background, in your unconscious, you are planning your day/week/month, revisiting conversations with friends, family or colleagues, reliving a moment from your past or thinking about your future, you are not present.

Being present is ‘BE ing’ with what is directly around you. The smells, the sounds, the sights. It’s seeing what is there with you at this moment. 

Pay attention to what you are thinking. Where are you? What are you focusing on? What is your mind occupied with?

Is it past conversations or what you are planning for dinner? Or are you present to the swaying of the branches and the feeling of the wind on your face and the sun on your body? Is it the geometry of the flowers and leaves? Is it how the sounds are reverberating in your body?  

Being aware and taking control of your thoughts is life changing. It is what will bring you peace.

 Need some help to calm your mental chaos, let’s talk.

Be the Change.