The stories we tell ourselves

We all have them. And we have so many of them. Stories are what keeps our mind busy.

“I’m not good enough. I don’t deserve. I won’t be loved or accepted if I don’t do what others want me to do. I’ll be alone. I’m not safe. I’m not the ‘perfect’ size – no one will love me. I can’t do that because…, I’m not good at that, I shouldn’t have said that, I should do this” and on and on it goes.

What would be going on in our minds if we weren’t running all those stories? They are exhausting. So much of our energy is taken up thinking of things that will never happen and aren’t true. Our stories keep them alive though.

I stopped running stories and started living in the present moment. No worries about what I did in the past and no thinking about what may or may not happen in the future. BEing in the present, I am much calmer, clearer and centred. I’m freer and at peace.

It took practice to first be aware that I was telling myself these stories and then to stop them. 

I first noticed it when I was so tired. I was tired because I was giving all my energy to my stories – the worry, the anxiety, the what ifs, the self doubt, the negative self talk. I started to recognize this voice in my head and when I became aware of it, I redirected my thoughts. At first that was scary for me. “If I stopped these thoughts, what would take their place? How do I make sure they don’t start up again?” 

I chose to use gratitude to change my thinking. When I found myself in a loop, tired and running these stories, I immediately stopped, looked around and re-directed my thoughts to gratitude. What was I grateful for in this moment? At first it was the basic stuff…your family, your friends, your home or vacation. Then I chose to be grateful for whatever was around me – maybe it was the cloudy sky because I saw so many shades of grey in them and how lucky I was to experience that; maybe it was the bare trees because without the leaves I can see all the nests and the animals scurrying and playing; maybe it was the sunshine warming me up; maybe it was the smell of fresh cut grass, or the much needed rain. Gratitude slowly took on such depth. And it was also so expansive and freeing. 

It connected me to and made me appreciate others in a whole new way. This technique also trained me in being in control of my thoughts. I have the power to change my thoughts and changing my thoughts changed the way I felt. And I did that with Gratitude.

Being free is freeing yourself from you. Controlling your thoughts is the first step to that.

If you find yourself needing help to retrain your thoughts, then let’s talk. 

Be the Change.